When you're facing a tragedy, you might hear a voice in your head that tells you to isolate yourself from the outside world. Run away, hide your wounds, protect yourself. This response is a reflex for many people, and it's totally, outrageously wrong. You need help, and there is no condemnation in reaching out for it.
I first confessed my terrible actions to Hannah, we mostly drew away
from our circle of friends for awhile. Before too long, however, we
realized that the weight of this catastrophe was too much to overcome on
our own. We changed churches, because we knew that we needed spiritual guidance desperately. In the following weeks and months, we told family and friends,
and their support has been so crucial to our recovery. Supportive and
like-minded people can provide assistance, perspective and wise counsel
when you feel totally lost in the shadow of your own difficulties.
Now, don't get me wrong.
There may be a time when buffering your family from the world may be
necessary, especially if the affair happened within a circle of
friends. Discretion must be used when it comes to who you tell and what
time frame you follow. Especially for the victim's sake, every couple
must proceed cautiously when it comes to discussing their story, because
moving too fast can only cause more harm. Hannah and I are obviously
more open than most, but we desperately want to help others with our
experiences and if that means exposing our flaws for the world to see,
we can accept that.
Community is essential. Of
course, this is a focal point of the Christian faith, but even if you
are not a churchgoer, you can seek out like-minded people to help you
along your path. Join a church, talk with trusted peers, meet with family. Do whatever it takes to find support. Sharing your
wound is a risk, but it may transform your journey. If you are willing
to travel the path to recovery, then you can certainly muster the
strength to seek others who can under gird you on the way.
the book "START." by Jon Acuff, the author explains that everyone has
an inner voice, and the most common misconception is that this
influential voice is on your side. It's the voice that tells you
to refrain, hide, flee, avoid risks, and isolate yourself. You may not
realize it, but the inner voice doesn't have your best interests in
If you are hurting, defy the voice which pleads
for you to disconnect from your community. You need others, and trust
me, there is someone out there who likely needs you too. Connectedness is power. Embrace it, because it may be the deciding factor in your marriage's trajectory.
You are reading The Meaning of Repentance. Connect with us on our facebook page and check out our new nonprofit initiative -- The Marriage Mission. Lastly, take a look at our Summer Fund Drive and considering donating so we can reach more marriages!