Friday, August 9, 2013

Eroding Monuments.

                  This city is a vast landscape of dreadful reminders.

Affairs do not occur in a vacuum.  They are a cruel organism all their own, roaming familiar streets and leaving painful memories in their wake. Infidelity erects its own landmarks, like monuments to the wicked deeds done behind a veil of dishonesty.

As Hannah and I have journeyed on this path to recovery, we have confronted the harsh sting of these reminders.  There are roads, buildings and entire sections of our hometown that taunt my wife as we are forced to pass near them.  Perhaps the easiest way out would be avoidance, but we cannot forfeit more territory to the darkness of my past actions.

           This week, I received a call that cemented a tremendous step in this voyage -- I was offered a new job.  I will finally be departing from the ground zero of my life’s worst mistakes, never to return.  This is cause for celebration in so many ways. No longer will my wife have to be haunted by the reminder of my betrayal each day as I leave for work; no longer will the financial sustenance of our home be entangled with our marriage’s greatest struggle.

I cannot describe the strength my spouse conceals within, radiating from deep down in her soul.  Many women would crumble at the advances of these evil specters, unable to overcome the mental imagery of all that I’ve done wrong.  Fleeing is not an option in her heart; she refuses to allow this city to be surrendered to my affair.

Instead of bowing to the defeats of the past, we have established new memories throughout this process.  We have undoubtedly been on more dates in the past year than in the prior four years of our marriage combined, for better or worse.  This proactive approach to developing our relationship has been so valuable as we wrestle with the wounds that still remain.

We are reclaiming lost ground, both emotionally and physically.  It’s been a difficult path, but over time God has strengthened us to face down the demons that lurk around these bleak places.  The past cannot declare ownership over our community. This city’s horizon is filled with monuments, but they are eroding over time as we remain unified in our desire to preserve this marriage.  

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